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Sunday, October 10, 2010

The Other Kris Aquino-Shalani Soledad Interview

Updated Intro (October 10, 2010):  This piece started as a sardonic take on Philippine pop consciousness, i.e. our obssession to celebrities.  As expected, this particular entry is the most popular in my blog.  Frankly, I also wrote it wishing to get more hits but I was hoping that this entry will be ignored along with the rest of my entries.  Unfortunately, this one is getting to be more popular as the months pass.  October 10 marks the historic march of the Sumilao farmers from Bukidnon to Manila, but are we paying attention to that? Of course not.  The children of the landowners and their fiances and ex-fiances are much more interesting.  I agree. Farmers can march as far as they want. Unless most of them have romantic relations with future presidents, I don't think most Filipinos will care.  We're more concerned with what happens to Josh and James. Let's pray they recover from the foot and mouth disease.  Let's pray. "Holy Mother Mother of God...."


First published in "Sardonique" (June 27, 2010) A few months back, Kris Aquino's first ever interview with her borther's girlfriend, Valenzuela councilor Shalani Soledad, was the talk of the town.  Many people enjoyed the interview while others did not.  I, on the other hand, witnessed something quite peculiar.  Some of Kris' questions, well to put euphemistically, were investigative.  However, Shalani answered all her questions with the innocence of a high school girl.  Either Shalani is really as honest as the day or she is an astute media ham and she knows that the best way to go against Kris is to play sweet, innocent and borderline clueless.  Whatever your thoughts may be, it does not matter anyway. These women may soon rule our political lives in the coming years. 

I wondered what would happen if there was another entity during this historic interview. Ehem.  Well, wonder no more. I hope you enjoy this humble sardonic creation not meant to ridicule but, hey, you're intelligent enough to know why. Enjoy.

Before you read, please declare how much you love freedom of speech and artistic freedom.  Sardonicism is still the best cloak against you know what. 

I googled the transcript of the intreview and I found  it in Chizmizan with Chuva ( I added the answers of Shalani's Alter Ego. After all, who can best give an alternative answer to Shalani's answers than a fellow Valenzuela native such as I, and a son of an OFW too.  Enjoy. 

* * *
Kris: Thank you Shalani at pumayag ka na. Mukha kang ano…para kang mae-electric chair yung hitsura mo!

Shalani: Actually, kinakabahan.
Shalani's Alter Ego: Like who are you na nga ba? Oh yes, you're that friend of that Boy Abunda. Angelica. Hi. I'm excited to be here.

Kris: Sandali, umpisahan natin from the very, very beginning. April 27, 1980, tama ba ako? Yun ang birthday mo. Ano ang type of family yung nakagisnan mo?
Shalani: Close ako sa relatives ko…sa uncle ko, tita ko, cousins ko and lalo na sa brother ko.
Shalani's Alter Ego: Nung nagising ako, nakita ko ang family ko. Yun lang. Next intelligent question please.

Kris: How many years older sa iyo ang brother mo?
Shalani: Three years. I’m the youngest. Dalawa lang kami.
Shalani's Alter Ego: Three years. I'm the youngest just like you except I am younger than you. Oh my god! Sorry did that come out like an insult? Grabe. Sorry Kris.  It was not my intention, they're just random words.

Kris: Nabanggit mo lahat ng mga relatives, hindi mo na-mention ang mommy mo?
Shalani: Because my mom was working abroad for almost 20 years. Tapos once a year lang siya umuwi, like two months.

Shalani's Alter Ego:  OFW si mudra for 20 years. Once a year lang sya umuuwi, like your James. Oh my god! I'm so evil. Sorry Kris. It is just a showbiz joke. I love your outfit pala. Segue.

Kris: Saan siya nagwo-work?
Shalani: Yung last ni mommy was in Kuwait.
Shalani's Alter Ego: sa Kuwait. Happy?

Kris: Middle East. Nakailang years siya doon?
Shalani: Sa Middle East…almost 20 years.
Shalani's Alter Ego: Ang slow ha? I just said that she was an OFW for 20 years.

Kris: Sino ang talagang nag-alaga sa iyo?
Shalani: Lolo ko at saka lola ko sa mother side ko.
Shalani's Alter Ego: My grandpapa and my granny goose, away from my mom, not just on her side, nasa Kuwait sya kasi.  No yaya, y'know yaya? because we value real family upbringing. Gets?

Kris: You can choose to answer this or not, pero saan yung father along the way?
Shalani: Hiwalay kasi sila ng mommy ko, e. Since I was small, hiwalay na sila.
Shalani's Alter Ego: I am sure Josh and baby James can relate. Oh my god! I did it again. Sorry. They just come out eh.

Kris: Did you know him at least or did you have a relationship?
Shalani: There was really no relationship. But yes, I know him. Kasi magkaaway sila ng mommy ko.
Shalani's Alter Ego: Plok! I have no comment here Krissy.  Her honesty and lack of pretension are something some people cannot have, or they do have but only for purposes of getting media miliage. Applause. Applause. Applause.

EDUCATIONAL ATTAINMENT. Bagamat lumaki sa Catanduanes, dito na sa Manila lumaki at nagkaisip si Shalani Carla Soledad. Nag-aral siya sa elementarya sa Maryknoll sa Parañaque at nag-high school naman sa St. Louis College sa Valenzuela.

Kris: Were you a good student?
Shalani: Average. Pero I was not on the top.
Shalani's Alter Ego: Yes, I was a good student.  I actually went to a real school. 

Kris: Anong hilig mo? Like high school, doon yung magdyo-join ka ng kung anu-anong mga club, groups?
Shalani: My club was religious club. (Laughs). Kami ‘yong taga-dasal, actually. Praying plus teaching the younger class ng mga Bible stories. And drama club, actually.
Shalani's Alter Ego: My club was "a" religious club. Sorry I forgot to put an article before religious club.  (Laughs).  Natatawa lang ako. Wala lang.

Kris: Punta na tayo sa college.
Shalani: College, I took up Human Resource Management at CSE.
Shalani's Alter Ego: Pupunta tayo sa college? Sure, Ateneo or La Salle?

Kris: Anong year ka nag-graduate?
Shalani: I still have my P.E. class, actually.
Shalani's Alter Ego: Yes. Hindi ako nakatapos. I'm sure na-research na yan ng mga researcher mo kaya tinatanong mo iyan! Like did you ask Lea Salonga if she finsihed college? Hmm?

Kris: Bakit hindi mo ginawa yung P.E.?
Shalani: Because I ran for councilor already, so naiwan. Hindi ko na nabalikan.

Shalani's Alter Ego: Because I ran for councilor, already, y'know already. I was ready.

ENTERING POLITICS. Sa edad na 24 maagang nasabak si Shalani sa pulitika, kung saan niya nahanap ang kanyang direksiyon sa buhay.

Kris: Saan nanggaling ang hilig sa pulitika?
Shalani: I guess, it’s my love for people. Kasi yung mom ko, lahat sila into government service, pero walang elective post. Ako ‘yong first sa family namin to have an elective post.
Shalani's Alter Ego: I realized that politics in the Philippines have not changed in the past 200 hundreds years.  We are still operating in a feudal type of politics.  Elected officials, especially those at the top, come from land-owning families or from the oligarchs. No matter how much we try to cover it up with liberal ideas and brilliant display of vibrant sunflowery colors, the reality still remains. Rich families control this country. Our politics have not gone beyond the pages of "Noli Me Tangere." In a way, we are still in "Noli."  That is why I think it is refreshing that a daughter of a single mother who is an OFW can be elected.  It gives me hope.  Kris. Kris. wake up. I am done.

Kris: Why did you feel na ito yung tamang landas na tahakin mo? Nagka-sign ba?
Shalani: No, I think dito ko naramdaman yung sinasabi nilang fulfillment. Meron pala yun. Dati akala ko parang showbiz or cliché pag sinasabi na may sense of fulfillment, dito pala. Kasi in spite nung hirap, nung pagod, all in all lahat, pero kapag nakikita mong nakakatulong ka and people appreciate that, pag nagte-thank you sa iyo, ang sarap-sarap ng feeling!
Shalani's Alter Ego: Sarap ng feeling. I can feel it.

Bago niya narating ang kasalukuyang estado sa pulitika, naging legislative staff muna si Shalani sa opisina ni Senator Panfilo “Ping” Lacson.

Kris: You did work for Senator Lacson?
Shalani: During 2002 to 2003.
Shalani's Alter Ego: Wait. From 2002 to 2003.

Kris: Was he a senator then?
Shalani: Yes.
Shalani's Alter Ego: Who's your researcher? Next intelligent question please.Pwede?

Kris: Pero hindi kayo nagtagpo pa ng landas ni Noy kasi 2007 siya na-elect na senator?
Shalani: Yes.
Shalani's Alter Ego: Nagtagpo ng landas? Carmen Rosales, is that you? But for the sake of answering your question. Oo, hindi pa nagtagpo ang aming landas sapagkat hindi pa ito kagustuhan ng Maykapal at ilang guhit pa sa aming mga palad ang dapat isulat ng panahon para masilayan namin ang isa't isa. Maalaala Mo kaya, ang sumpa mo sa akin... hmmm hmmmm

THE START OF A LOVE STORY. Idinetalye rin ni Shalani kung paano sila nagkakilala ni Noynoy at kung paano nabuo ang relasyon nila.

Kris: Paano ba kayo nag-meet?
Shalani: Yung first was 2005. I was then with UNTelevision. I was covering the 2005 SONA (State of the Nation Address).
Shalani's Alter Ego: Same answer. Rest muna ko.

Kris: Ano ka?
Shalani's Alter Ego: Ano ako?! Isn't it obvious? I can't take this Shany. Ikaw na muna ang sumagot!
Shalani: Reporter. We did that interview kay Noy. My question was, it’s not something about the SONA, it was something about you (Kris). So, ang sabi ni Noy, “My sister is old enough to answer those questions.”

Kris: Pero kailan kayo nagkakilala ulit?
Shalani: 2008 sa Alfredo’s. Kasama ko yung Vice Mayor ko and then at the same time, nandoon din sina Noy and then afterwards, nagpa-picture kami kay Noy.
Shalani's Alter Ego: Teka nga muna Shany. Bakit nasa Alfredo ang Vice Mayor natin ha.  Eh ang daming bulok na basura sa Valenzuela at rampant ang crime at grabe ang traffic sa McArthur Highway, at ang daming mga enviromental catastrophe na sanhi ng mga factories at nasa Alfredo's lang kayo.  Nag-iinit ako!

Kris: And then?
Shalani: Sabi ni Noy, “I am the chair of the local government committee. Baka mayroon kayong amendments that you would want to introduce. Let me know.”
Shalani's Alter Ego: Sabi ni Noy, upuan sya. Hindi ko kinontest. "Kinontest", a Filipinization of the English word "contest" meaning "to put into question, or dispute" and modified to be a verb, "Kinontest." Be careful with the pronunciation because if you change the stress, it may sound like "kinontest" or "contest" meaning to compete.

Kris: Binigay niya yung number niya sa ‘yo?
Shalani: Hindi, kinuha nila ang numbers namin. Across Alfredo’s, merong coffee house so nauna sina Noy doon. Then after a few minutes, nag-ring yung phone ng Vice Mayor namin, ini-invite daw kami ni Noy mag-coffee.
Shalani's Alter Ego: In short, "the politician-approach doubled with the Starbucks-approach." Na try ko na rin sya.

Kris: Pero hindi naman si Vice Mayor ang gusto niyang makakape… Tapos?
Shalani's Alter Ego: Ahahahaha! (Sardonic laugh)
Shalani: At that time, nag-cross kami. When we got there, nandoon ‘yong staff niya sa café.

Kris: And you realize now that Noy doesn’t even drink coffee?
Shalani: Yes!
Shalani's Alter Ego: I realized ako ang kape nya. Nagpagisingggggg!!!

Kris: Tumabi ka naman sa kanya?
Shalani's Alter Ego: My god! Wait Shany. Excuse me. That question is loaded with recrimination and malice. It assumes that atat na atat makatabi ni Shany ang panut mong brother. Just to remind you, he was interested first. That is important, you should know. Sige Shany, answer na.
Shalani: No, we were seated across and then kinukuwento niya na 20 years ago na mayroong coup [d'etat] tapos three of his PSGs were gunned down. Sabi niya, it’s a miracle na nabuhay daw siya. So, sabi ko naman sa kanya, “Senator, baka hindi mo pa talaga time.” Ang sabi niya, “Oo nga, dahil 20 years after makikilala pala kita.”

Kris: Kadiri ha, Noy! Gross! (Laughs). Hindi ko kaya! I thought I was the baduy one in the family. Kinabog ako ni Noy sa linyang yun! Tapos? Do you remember what day it was? Yung exact date?
Shalani's Alter Ego: Hahahahahahaha, wala lang. Nakikitawa lang.
Shalani: Yes. July 28.

FIRST DATE and ANNIVERSARY. Memorable din para kay Shalani ang naging first date nila ni Sen. Noynoy.

Kris: Ano yung first date ninyo? Alam ko nanood kayo ng movie ni KC [Concepcion] at ni Richard Gutierrez, For the First Time?
Shalani: Yes.
Shalani's Alter Ego:  Unfortunately, yes. I told her not to watch that dreadful saccharine movie. I suggested Behn Cervantes' "Sagada" or Gerardo De Leon's "Daigdig ng Mga Api" or anything that has a big plantation in it. I have the VCDs but well... it was their first date. 

Kris: Kasi we were all tripping on Noy. Manood ba? Kasi movie ko na nga sapilitan pang manood yun. So, sinamahan ka niyang manood?
Shalani: Oo. Pero first and last na daw yun.
Shalani's Alter Ego: Mali naman kasi ang movie na pinili mo Shany so nadismaya sa state of Philippine cinema si Noy. 

Kris: May anniversary ba kayo?
Shalani: Yes. Sepember 5 (2008).
Shalani's Alter Ego: Intelligent question please?

Kris: What were the signs na ito na, this is it?
Shalani: Kinikilig ako. Kasi with Noy, from previous relationships, parang na-realize ko na kung ano ang gusto ko. And you would want someone na honest sa ‘yo, yung totoo, yung hindi ka binobola lang.
Shalani's Alter Ego: In Valenzuela, there are many signs. Like, "Maraming Salamat from Mayor Win Gatchalian," or "Congratulations to all Graduates of Batch 2008 from Councilor Kate Galang." so when I saw my sign, I knew na ito na.

Kris: So, one year and eight months na kayo. Matagal na ‘yon ha for Noy.
Shalani's Alter Ego: Kayo ni James, matagal na yon? Oh my god. Ang evil ko talaga. Har har har.

TALES WITH THE AQUINO FAMILY. Inusisa rin ni Kris si Shalani tungkol sa naging impression ng lady councilor sa pamilya Aquino at kung paano nito inilagay ang sarili sa panahong may hinaharap na pagsubok ang pamilya Aquino.

Kris: Ano’ng na-feel mo noong una mo kaming nakilala?
Shalani: Si Noy afterwards, tinatanong niya ako, “So, how was it?” Ang tinatanong niya more on sa mommy ninyo. So, sabi ko, “Noy, actually na-star-struck ako hindi sa mommy mo, kay Kris.” So, tawa lang siya nang tawa.
Shalani's Alter Ego: No comment ako dyan. 

Kris: Tapos nun? Kailan bago mo siya ipinakilala sa mommy mo?
Shalani: Si Noy kasi nanliligaw, pumupunta siya sa bahay
Shalani's Alter Ego: I'm surprised he was able to take the streets of Valenzuela ha?

Kris: Hindi ba nag-alangan ang mommy mo na halos kaedad niya si Noy?
Shalani's Alter Ego: Aha-ha, aha-ha, aha ha ha ha (sardonic demure laugh)
Shalani: Ang apprehension ng mommy ko was… Well, sinasabi niya sa akin ‘to na, “Anak, senator ‘yan nakakasama ninyo.” Kasi baka we seem to forget daw na dahil nakakasama namin si Noy sa Timezone...

Shalani's Alter Ego: Si Noy, nag-Time Zone. It must be....nevermind.  Anyway, continue sa words of wisdom from our madir!
Shalani: Almost every night kasama naming mag-dinner out. Sabi ng mommy ko, “Anak, hindi tayo mayaman. Baka hanapan ka or singilin ka.” Baka daw api-apihin daw ako. Sabi ng mommy ko.
Kris: Ako (ang mang-aapi sa iyo)? Shalani's Alter Ego: Yes. ikaw. Shalani: Hindi naman. Shalani's Alter Ego: Magtigil ka nga dyan Shany. Siya! Siya ang mang-aapi!
Shalani: Sabi ng mommy ko, “You know, Noy being an Aquino. Very prominent ang family.”
Shalani's Alter Ego: and prominent hairline.

Kris: I hate to bring this up because it means I know too much.
Shalani's Alter Ego: Like that is a given. (Laughs)
Kris: But noong time na medyo my mom was nearly dying na, I think you went through a rocky point of your relationship. Tama ba ako? Nahirapan ka bang ilagay ang sarili mo kung saan ka dapat lalagay?
Shalani: In a way. Because siyempre alam ko na masakit kay Noy. At the same time, I wanted to be there for him pero…
Shalani's Alter Ego: Shut up ako in honor of Cory.
Kris: Paano mo titimbangin kung saan ka lulugar?
Shalani: Yes. Mahirap.
Shalani's Alter Ego: Shut up pa rin ako in honor of Cory.

Kris: Para at least finally na-tackle at alam na ng buong mundo. Di ba, kaya ako nagalit sa ‘yo kasi dinededma mo si Noy?
Shalani: Hindi.
Shalani's Alter Ego: Nagpipigil ako. Nag-pi-pi-gil ako.

Kris: The way I heard the story parang eight hours siyang nag-text or nag-miss call tapos ang tagal bago ka naka-reply.
Shalani: No. Hindi ha. Walang eight hours. Matagal na nga siguro one hour and a half, pero wala namang eight hours.
Shalani's Alter Ego: Wala akong load nung time na iyon no. Happy?

Kris: Pero do you also realize na he’s also the type na minsan kasi ite-text mo and then 14 hours or 24 hours later ang sagot?
Shalani: Si Noy?
Kris: Oo, sa akin. Sa ‘yo, hindi naman? Nagre-reply kaagad?
Shalani: Oo, nagre-reply siya.
Kris: Iba ang girlfriend, iba ang sister.
Shalani's Alter Ego: Aha ha ha ha. Don't feel bad Kris. Kahit ako hindi rin ako mag re-reply sa yo.

DEEP COMMITMENT. Pinag-usapan din nila ang kasalukuyang sitwasyon ng relationship nina Shalani at Sen. Noynoy, lalo na ngayong nahaharap ang huli sa isang malaking responsibilidad na pamunuan ang Pilipinas.

Kris: Doon na tayo sa ngayon, nag-iba na. Yung tumakbo for the presidency, that’s why sinabi ko yun sa The Buzz. Sinabi ko na appreciative kami kasi marami kang napuntahan na mismo kami hindi na namin napuntahan at nagawa para sa kanya.
Shalani's Alter Ego: Yes Kris. I also appreciate that you said that in The Buzz. You never say anything without a camera in front of you eh.
Kris: Kung tatanungin kita, why did you do it?
Shalani: I believe in him, number one. And second, I wanted to be of help also to Noy.
Shalani's Alter Ego: We had no choice. If Noy did not win, it might have been Erap or Villar.  Frankly, I was hoping Mareng Winnie Monsod would run.

Kris: Pero thoughtful naman ba siya, as far as being a boyfriend is concerned?
Shalani: Thoughtful si Noy in the sense na pag birthday mo, special occasions at kung ano ang nagiging needs mo, ina-anticipate na niya.
Shalani's Alter Ego: Konti lang naging jowa mo no Shany? Kasi lahat ng boyfriend ginagawa yon. Nothing special. Bahala ka. Buhay mo yan!

Kris: Anong stage na kayo sa relationship ninyo?
Shalani's Alter Ego: Level 40 sa Farmville.
Shalani: It’s a deep commitment. Pero at this point kasi, parang napakalaki noong task na haharapin ni Noy. So, ang focus talaga should be on the task ahead of him, kasi ang hirap.
Shalani's Alter Ego: Deep commitment eh ayaw ka pa ngang pakasalan, anung deep commitment yan. For all yo know, one of these days you'll wake up and realize that you were the only one in the relationship. Di ba Kris? Relate ka ba?

Kris: Tatanunging kita, 30 ka ngayon. Are you ready to wait six years?
Shalani: Yes, I hope.
Shalani's Alter Ego: No comment.
Kris: Kasi ilang times na inulit na ni Noy na within his term na parang hindi niya nakikita na he would be settling down. Na-hurt ka ba noong narinig mo yun? Yung totoo lang?
Shalani: In a way. Kasi ako I’m looking forward. Siyempre kasi when you’re in a relationship, you’re looking forward long term. Since mahal mo, you would support what he wants and what he needs.
Shalani's Alter Ego: In short martir sya.  Wait lang.  Advice lang sa lahat ng mga girla-loo na nanonood.  Kung talagang may intensyon pakasalan kayo ng lalaki, pakakasalan kayo.  No excuses.  Period.  Worst, hindi niya i-a-announce sa publiko na hindi ka nya pakakasalan.  Red flag!

Kris: Hindi mo naisip yun na baka sa kakahintay mo, hindi kayo magka-baby, hindi kayo magka-family ng sa inyo?
Shalani: Ako kasi I just pray. Because when you’re in a relationship, you just hope na it would be better and, siyempre, long term, di ba? So, let’s see. Kasi hangga’t mahal mo ang tao, maghihintay ka.
Shalani's Alter Ego: Maghihintay sya. Amen.

COOL-OFF ISSUE. Sinagot din ni Shalani ang lumabas na isyu na diumano’y nag-cool off sila ni Sen. Noynoy.

Kris: May nag-Tweet sa amin sa SNN, so kailangan kong tanungin ito. Totoo bang nag-cool off si Shalani at si President Noy?
Shalani: No.
Shalani's Alter Ego: No.

Kris: Pag nagtatampuhan, may moment ba na walang pansinan?
Shalani: Meron.
Shalani's Alter Ego: Meron.

Kris: Ilang days yun?
Shalani: Pinakamatagal, three to four days.
Shalani's Alter Ego: four and half days and 15 seconds.

Kris: Sinong nagme-make ng move, siya o ikaw? O take turns?
Shalani: Take turns.
Shalani's Alter Ego: Ngme-make move. It is better if you say "who's makes the first move? or in Filipino, "sino ang unang sumusuyo?"

Kris: The last tampuhan, who made the first move?
Shalani: Ako, kasi kasalanan ko.
Shalani's Alter Ego: Slave mentlity ka talaga Shany.

Kris: Mabilis mo naman siyang parang makuha ang lambing? Pag magso-sorry, hindi naman pakipot?
Shalani: Si Noy kasi may mood siya na very sweet, may mood din siya na medyo mataray. Like one time, this was during the campaign, I called him up then he answered, sabi niya, ‘Why?’ Sabi ko, ‘Wala naman, Noy, nami-miss lang kita.’ Sabi ni Noy, ‘You called me just to tell me that? I’m in a middle of a conversation here.’ ‘Yan, ganyan siya. (Laughs)
Shalani's Alter Ego: Red flag! Red flag! Gumising ka Shalani!

Kris: Hurt-hurt-an ka doon.
Shalani: Opo.
Shalani's Alter Ego: Ewan ko ba sa inyong dalawa. Cast members ba kayo ng "First Time?"

“SUPER LOVE KITA.” Sa huling bahagi ng pag-uusap nina Kris at Shalani ay inihayag na ng lady councilor kung gaano niya talaga kamahal si Sen. Noynoy.

Kris: May love song ba kayo?
Shalani: “For The First Time.”
Shalani's Alter Ego: Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. I suggest "You don't own me."

Kris: Anong puwede mong sabihin kay Noy na puwede mong i-share sa buong Pilipinas?
Shalani: Congratulations, of course. And whatever happens siguro, it’s a very hard time siguro right now because ang daming magiging adjustments, both sa relationship natin or relationships mo with your family and other people. Nandito lang ako. I hope you really, really appreciate how much people love you. But siyempre kay Noy, super love kita.
Shalani's Alter Ego: Noy, magtrabaho ka na.  Nandiyan pa si bulilit at ang kanyang mga bubwit.

Kris: Mushy ba kayo? Nag-a-I love you ka ba on the daily basis?
Shalani: Not every day.
Shalani's Alter Ego: My point exactly. Gets?

Kris: Sa text?
Shalani: Yes.
Shalani's Alter Ego: Naka-unli na ako kasi.

Kris: Ano yung sa text? Love yah?
Shalani: Complete na I love you with smiley.
Shalani's Alter Ego: Plus please pass a load. Paubos na. Love you with double smiley.

The best way to enjoy this is to imagine it as an SNL, MAD TV, Bubble Gang comedy skit. Or you and your friends can reenact this. It is all in the delivery. Timing and delivery is the flesh and blood of comedy writing. I learned that when I wrote a sort of comedy monologue for a company party. A brilliant comedian delivered my writing with impeccable timing and his own brand of humor and without altering too much of my text, he brought the house dowm. He was hilarious. 

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