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Sunday, January 23, 2011

The Cash Culprit #3: Your Brain is On Sale

When you buy an item on sale, only your brain is on sale and not the item.  Period. You did not save 30%, but you spent 70%.  For example, I once bought a shirt that was on sale, 30% off.  The original price was P650.  Like a nitwit wearing the best designer clothes, thinking that I look fabulous and I deserve to clad myself with fine clothes and reward my left hand with the latest gadget and my right hand with a grande Starbucks Green tea soy latte; I was causally walking on the posh corridors of the mall when I came across a sale in ***.  I went in and most items were being sold with 10% to 40% discount. I had to act fast because the sale would last only for 1 day.  I saw one spectacular shirt that I knew would complement my newly chiseled torso.  By the grace of the gods of commercialism, the sexy shirt was being offered to me 30% off its original price of P650.  That meant that I would be saving P195.  Great Gucci! Incredible!  Of course, I went ahead and purchased it without even trying it on because with my new chest and waistline, everything fitted well.  As the salesgirl beamed at me while she handed me my shirt, neatly tucked inside a fashionably decorated designer paper bag, I said “Thank You” and she perkily responded by saying “Thanks for shopping, please come again.”

Did I need the shirt? Of course not, I did not need another shirt and frankly speaking, most people do not even care that much if you have a new shirt.  Sure, some may care, at least for the first 15 minutes that they see you; but beyond that, they still think of you the same way they have thought of you before the new shirt.  If people think you’re a schmuck, you’ll still be one. If people think you’re nice, you’ll still be one with or without a new shirt. 

But ladies and gents, the shirt was on sale, 30% off. Comprenez-vous? Actually, to be blunt about it, only 30% of my brain was working when I purchased the shirt.  70% of my brain was not functioning properly at that time.  I really did not need that shirt, so after being seduced by the sale, I really spent P455 (70% of P650).  I did not save P195 (30% discount).  You see, if the shirt was not on sale, I probably would not have bought it. 
I could blame the concept of sale or the culture of commercialism, but they are abstract entitiesThe nitwit who bought the shirt was not abstract. No, he’s flesh and blood and if I see him again buying items on sale, as his doppelganger, I will clobber him to death with a genêt de coco (English: coconut broomstick, Filipino: walis ting ting)

CASH CULPRIT #1: The Credit Card and Mister Trilby
CASH CULPRIT #2: The 500-peso Plan and the P* Investment

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